Disney's Jungle Cruise

Even as a kid I always thought that the jungle cruise ride at Disneyland was silly, corny, and otherwise ridiculous.  But, I love(d) it anyway.  It's the perfect ride to kick back on, catch your breath and plot your next move for the day.  Disney's Jungle Cruise looks like it holds the same promise as summer movies continue to roll out.

Like the actual ride itself one of the first delights in Jungle Cruise comes in the form of the tourist cruise with all the bad puns and less than spectacular "danger" very chessily and charmingly delivered by Dwayne Johnson's Frank.  It's all terrible in the best way possible.  Yes, the horrible puns run throughout the film and I snickered and enjoyed each and every one.  Johnson commits to the ride aesthetic and it works. Adding to the fun are Emily Blunt's Dr. Lily Houghton bringing the sass and spurring the action along. While her high maintenance brother MacGregor, Jack Whitehall, reluctantly gets dragged along for the adventure of a lifetime.  In a nice touch, MacGregor's plucky comedy relief comes with a more dramatic/deeper edge.

Jungle Cruise plays out like The African Queen meets Romancing the Stone with a dash of The Mummy (the good one not that POS with Tom Cruise) for kids. When it works, it works well with plenty of action, suspension, and thrills that entertain.  Johnson and Blunt's sparring and their chemistry hold the attention and the film together are an enjoyable pairing.  Like Pirates of the Caribbean before it, Jungle Cruise gets fleshed out to make a serviceable story line that contains some surprises along the way.

The biggest issues with this film, and so many others, comes in the form of the villain.  The two villains actually.  Neither comes off as particularly villainous and by having two separate ones they become even more watered down.  I will say that the CGI, especially that of Aguirre is a bit intense and may be a bit much for younger kids.  

All in all, like it's namesake Jungle Cruise is an entertaining, cheesy, charming slice of summer fun.  It's a 7 for me.

 

Hot damn!  After being pushed back from the original release date of May 2020 (twice) Black Widow finally hit the big screen.  Squee. Yep, I was excited to head back to the theater to see this one on the big screen in what I hoped would be all its glory.  So, with a little prayer to the movie gods, I ventured forth with great anticipation for a banging start to the summer movie season.

It pains me to say, but the movie gods were not particularly kind this time around and in addition to being the first major film of the summer, Black Widow is also the first disappointment.  

Flat, jumbled storytelling, pacing issues, predictability, and far too much glossing over key elements (Taskmaster, the Red Room, Budapest etc.)  made for a “meh” movie going experience.  Basically, all the things I wanted to see the film address and give Black Widow a proper sendoff were lacking. Very little character development occurs for Natasha or her “family.” I realize the characters are Russian and stoic, but the performances range from lifeless to uncomfortably sad. Even the action sequences fell short, especially for a Marvel film.  They were simultaneously over the top and underwhelming.  Not sure how they managed to achieve that, but they did.  

Individual moments and aspects of the film are intriguing, humorous, and thrilling but overall Black Widow falls short of expectations to the point of being rather boring.  There is so much meat for this film, but upon biting in it’s mostly bone.  By and large Black Widow comes across as a 2 hour 13 minute setup for the next thing (the post credit scene really drives this home) instead of a film to honor the character of Natasha Romanoff and bring her story to a satisfying close. I’m giving this one a disappointing 5 and saying don’t kick down $30 to see it at home.  If you want to get out of the house and brave the theater, make it a matinee.  Otherwise, stick with the Disney+ shows, they’re more satisfying.

FYI: If you haven’t watched The Falcon and the Winter Soldier episode Truth you may want to check it out first.  Just saying.

Movie Review: F9: The Fast Saga

After more than a year and a half (October 16, 2019 to be exact), I once again stepped into

one of my local movie theaters.  No lying, to say I was filled with trepidation (and relief, the

elderly black lady I chat with at the theater made it through the pandemic) being in public

venue after so long, and wanted to make sure I could handle the stress/nerves/fear by

seeing something that if need be I could walk out on.  Happily, after I settled in and had a

few minutes of deep breathing to calm myself, I not only powered through, but had a terrific

time.  The biggest shock to my system was the quality of the film.

After going to the well eight times, I really didn’t expect F9 to be as engaging, charming,

emotional, and dare I say deep as it is. With a 2 hour 25 minute run time, F9 takes fans

on an unexpected journey of family that’s thrilling, funny, heart warming and heart breaking. 

The over the top action sequences and scenarios max out the BS meter once again and I

couldn’t have been happier for it or enjoyed it more.  As for the big, “how are they gonna

top…?” it delivers and then some.  

Speaking of delivering, F9 brings it over and again as various players from previous

outings pop up through the film.  The ladies FINALLY get their due and really get a chance

to shine. Best of all, F9: The Fast Saga accomplishes something I never thought possible. 

Yes, it actually manages to fold the crapfest that is Tokyo Drift into the franchise in a

satisfying manner.  Say whaaaat?!  Yep.  Moving forward, Tokyo Drift no longer sticks out

like a badly infected sore thumb that needs to be excised post haste.  Yes, it’s still crap, but

it’s crap that now belongs!  

All told, F9: The Fast Saga is not only a solid, entertaining film within the franchise, it’s a

solid, entertaining film overall.  Definitely a great way to get back into the

theaters and enjoy some “big screen” action.  It’s a 10 in the Fast and Furious franchise

and an 8 in general.  If you want to head back to the theater and get your feet wet, this is as good an excuse as any.  If you do, be warned, stay into the credits, there’s more to be seen.

Movie Review At Home Edition: Those Who Wish Me Dead

 

As much as I miss going to the movies, I’m still nervous about doing so, so I look forward 

to these theatrical home releases.  From the trailer, “Those Who Wish Me Dead” looks

 like a couple of hours of heart pounding entertainment.  Upon viewing, not so much. TWWMD clocks in at a mere hour forty minutes, however more than half of that is a 

vague, drawn out, dull setup for the second half of the film. 

 

Not having seen the book this is based on, here’s what I got out of this mess:

 

Some guy (a forensic accountant) discovered some damning information about someone/something that he reports to authorities.  The someone/something wants

 to quash the damning info,  so that someone/something hires some other mysterious suited guy who sends a couple of hitmen to retrieve the damning info and kill everyone 

that may have seen it.  Accountant guy gets spooked and runs with his kid before the hitmen can get to him.  Not trusting the authorities and wanting to get his story/info to 

the media, naturally accountant guy flees to a heavily forested state park where his law enforcement buddy works, thereby putting law enforcement buddy and his pregnant wife

in danger. 

 

Got it? No?  Me neither.  But wait, there's more!

 

Angelina Jolie happens to be the smoke jumper, ex girlfriend of law enforcement buddy. She's suffering from severe PTSD, which caused her to fail a psych eval, but  is still 

working.  Isolated in a watchtower in the middle of BFE, no problems there.

 

Seriously, wtf?!

 

After that nonsensical mess, the film starts and actually becomes interesting.  There

 are some good action sequences, a handful of good character moments, but it’s all 

too little too late.  Nothing is ever explained and there are too many unanswered 

questions.  *SPOILER* What happened to the horse?

 

“Those Who Wish Me Dead” is more a first draft of a film that never amounts to more

 than squandered potential.  Nothing more than background noise while you do 

something else. I’m renaming this Those Who Wish For Better and giving this 

clunker a 2.

 

 

Movie Review: Pandemic Edition October 7, 2020

Yes, it's October and the world is still on fire. But, first things first. How are you doing? I do so hope that you and yours are safe, healthy, and do as well as possible under the circumstances.

Whew, it's been a long time, and while the country is reopening to various degrees (including movie theaters), I'm afraid it's going to be a bit longer before I'm willing to venture forth. Numbers are still high in my area (better, but high) and while there are a couple new pics playing, I have to ask myself, "are they worth possibly risking my life to see?". That's a resounding no.

That being the case, I like so many others have been at home catching up on things I wanted to see and never got around to before the big lockdown. Films like "Abominable", "Dolittle", "Playing with Fire", "Doctor Sleep", "Bombshell", and "Birds of Prey and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn." What I got was a mixed bag.

Unexpectedly the best film by far is "Abominable". I wasn't sure when this one came out, the yeti looked kinda goofy and it seemed like it could go either way. Turns out this charmer really works. Cute, funny, amazing animation (goofy yeti aside), wonderful messaging, and with all the character development and feels you can want. Yup, I laughed, but I also cried. Finally, I ended up getting a copy for my personal collection. A 9.5 for sure.

That brings me to "Dolittle". Sorry to say, the title pretty much says it all because it certainly did little for me. It's one of those family films with a spectacular voice cast, a decent amount of whimsy and imagination, but it all falls flat. While the main child actor/character does a good job, overall there are too many cringe worthy moments that are simply quite embarrassing to witness.

The same can be said about "Playing with Fire" minus the kid watchability. Two of the kids are just obnoxious and off putting. The adult casts members do there all to salvage this clunker, but other than a couple of scenes here and there, this one is just not salvageable. Really disappointing. "Dolittle" and "Playing with Fire"

are 4s at best.

"Doctor Sleep" is Stephen King's sequel to "The Shining", a book I loved and a movie I hated. I wasn't sure how this one was going to work out. I'm thrilled to say an expert job was done reconciling the elements of the original ("Shining") book/film and marrying them to the "Doctor Sleep" book sequel. Solid all the way around, this is a definite 9 for me.

Finally, "Bombshell" and "Birds of Prey". Two films I had really high expectations for. While not awful, they both feel short of those expectations. "Bombshell" for some inexplicable reason decided to add characters and events to enhance the drama. Completely unnecessary and adding a superficial and disengaging element to the film. It felt too force. As for "Birds" very little character development or story arc, highly predictable, downright silly at times, and nothing more than a long setup for a sequel. 5s for both films.

Movie Review Pandemic Edition: My Spy

Long ago in the before times when going to the movies was a treat, not a possible death sentence, one of the films I was looking forward to seeing was "My Spy". This family film starring Dave Bautista looked like the possible remedy to remove the stink that is "Stuber" from my movie going consciousness. Sadly, the film was pushed back from its original release date, then the ‘Rona hit and the world caught fire (only a slight exaggeration). Amazon decided to give this film a digital release back at the end of June, so needing to decompress from a long week and the non-stop dumpster fire that is 2020, I kicked back with a refreshing beverage to check it out.

"My Spy" is not the most original story by any stretch of the imagination, nevertheless it’s cute, entertaining, and all around enjoyable in its simplicity. Bautista and company deliver a feel good film (we can all use that) with some truly laugh out loud moments (the dance scene alone makes this a film worth watching). There’s just enough heart and soul to get you invested in the characters and delivers the emotional “feels”.

Chloe Coleman’s Sophie strikes the perfect balance of precociousness, cuteness, and sass to maintain likability and avoid obnoxiousness. Coleman’s chemistry with Bautista is right on target and had me wanting more. While Kirsten Schaal’s Bobbi is spot on in her obsessive fan girl/unwanted/unappreciated partner role to Bautista’s JJ.

When all is said and done, "My Spy", predictable as it may be has some surprises, and is a charming, humorous, witty, action packed, and emotional winner in my book. So, if you have Amazon Prime access and an hour 39 minutes to spare, give "My Spy" a gander. I’m giving this one a solid 7.

Oh, be sure not to be eating or drinking during the dance scene.

Movie Review: Video Pandemic Edition

First, let me just say hope that you and yours are healthy and staying safe.  Second, I realize it’s crazy out there and for many it’s really starting to wear thin.  The sudden and dramatic changes from the everyday mundaness (is that even a word?) of life to chaos, uncertainty,  and all around upheaval has been unsettling to say the least.  While going to the movies, like so many things, are a no go, like many between the stressing and disinfecting (I think I’m becoming OCD about hand washing) I have gotten a few at-home movie views under my belt. While I’m not going to go too deep into analysis it still seems like a pretty good time to offer up a couple of ideas as a distraction/entertainment.

How about a Will Smith double shot?

First up, Gemini Man. Yeah, yeah, I couldn’t get a good feel from the trailers and never heard anything positive once the film did hit the theaters, (the same can be said of Collateral Beauty and that one gave me all the feels and had me crying like a baby, yet happy to have experienced it) so I gave it a looksy out of pure curiosity.  To put it mildly I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed this one (filed under, “wish I’d seen at the theater”).  Good casting, engaging characters, fantastic action, and real emotion/characterization.  The CGI work for creating a younger version of Will Smith is mesmerizing.  Given things get a little over the top towards the end of the film, but all told, really entertaining.

I’m giving it a solid 8.


Second, Will Smith part deux in Spies in Disguise from the folks at BlueSky (Ice Age, Rio, Fight Club).  Now this was one I had planned on seeing in the theater, but didn’t make it.  So, when I found myself able to score some disinfectant wipes as an add-on with $25 purchase, I snagged this, some snacks, wipes, and felt victorious.  My victory was made even sweeter upon watching this film.  I was all in from start to finish to the point when the credits began to roll three thoughts popped into my mind. 1) Delightful. 2) I could/would this again right now, but I need to go to bed. And 3) I hope they make a sequel.  Fun, funny, heartfelt, educational (pigeon facts), poignant, all around entertaining and engaging. 

A 9 from me.

Check these out and let me know what you think.  Keep washing those hands and staying away from each other! 

TTFN

BWT: BONUS, since I’m on the Will Smith track, Bad Boys for Life, was also a fun ride.  If you like the series, don’t miss it. 

An 8 from me on that one as well.