Madame Web

 

Aaaannnd, I’m back.

 Once again, I’ve emerged from the shadows, two months into the new year, and hit the movie theater for the first time.  My latest outing was to take in Marvel’s Madame Web.  

First and foremost, standard disclaimer applies.  I’m unfamiliar with the comics, know nothing of this character/story beyond what’s in the film.  Blah, blah, blah.

Anywho, moving on.

I’m starting 2024 not with a bang, but a resounding thud.  

The short and not so sweet of Madame Web is this film is total trash.

Madame Web is one hour-fifty-six minutes (felt infinitely longer) of bad writing, bad acting, excruciatingly bad dialogue wrapped up in a nonsensical plot (I’m using plot in the loosest sense) filled with holes the size of the Grand Canyon which had me questioning the point of the entire exercise from roughly six or seven minutes in until the last credit rolled. 

Speaking of credits, mercifully there is no end credit sequence(s).

It can’t be all bad, can it? 

Actually no, the soundtrack is good. Bless Tiffany, The Cranberries, Britney and others for small favors. That’s it. There's nothing else to recommend this crapfest.

Madame Web is definitely not worth the gas, effort to go to the theater, or price of admission. Do yourself a favor and skip this one altogether or if you feel you must see it, wait until it hits streaming (shouldn't take long) because this is two hours of your life you won’t get back. 

Madame Web gets a 3 from me.