Blue Beetle

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I’m not a comic book reader and have no knowledge or insight of this character above or beyond what is shown in the film.

This week two new films hit the theater, I opted to see DC’s latest superhero offering Blue Beetle.  I’m going to make this review short and not so sweet because frankly, like the film’s writer, I don’t feel like putting much time, effort, or thought into it.  So yes, I didn’t choose wisely.

The pros.  

The soundtrack is good.  Once you get past the initial, clunky setup, George Lopez’s Uncle Rudy is enjoyable.  You have to sit through three fourths of the film to see it, but once she steps into the spotlight, Adriana Barraza’s Nana also delights and shines.  Nana is easily more interesting and engaging in her limited screen time than the main character.  

And... that’s pretty much it for the pros.

The cons.

There are many. 

Too many.  

First, the film is just boring.  The two hour seven-minute runtime feels like an eternity.  From the jump, nothing pulls you in or makes you care about what’s going on.  I was fidgeting, looking at my watch, and starting myself analysis of why I wasn’t engaged within the first twenty to twenty-five minutes.  Forty minutes in I was itching to pull out my phone and start scrolling.  It wasn’t just a “me” thing either. The majority of the audience was squirming in their seats, getting up to get refills or hit the restroom, or like the gentleman in front of my, just slumped over with his head resting on his hand barely awake.  And yes, I did see a couple of people sleeping.

The script is generic.  There’s little to no depth of anything.  It’s predictable and the dialogue takes cringe worthy to a new level. Plot holes upon plot holes.  Ugh. If this was really the final draft for the script, I’d hate to see what the rough drafts were like.  Nothing is developed or explained.  There’s no meat on these bones. The film relies on telling us every five to ten minutes what it’s aiming at instead of just showing us.

The entire film is nothing more than tropes and stereotypes held together by CGI.  Our villain, Susan Sarandon’s Victoria Kord is cartoonish and cliched.  What a waste and a disappointment.  The other characters lack characterization and development and are reduced to mere caricatures.  Stupid, annoying caricatures.   

With the exception of a couple of lines, the humor misses like a Stormtrooper in a hallway battle.

The post credit sequence is even weak and predictable.

Yes, I can go on and on with this one. But, like film itself, there’s no reason. I can't and won't recommend seeing this one.

Blue Beetle gets a 3 from me.

#bluebeetle