Uncharted

 

UNCHARTED

Other than Uncharted being based on a video game which I never heard of before let alone played, I’m reviewing this purely as a film. Starring Tom Holland, Mark Wahlberg, and Antonio Banderas, I went into this one blind and with few preconceptions or expectations.  Trailers made me think Indiana Jones/ National Treasure action/adventure type popcorn flick (sans the popcorn for yours truly, thanks). Having enjoyed the likes of those and many others of their ilk, I figured, what do I have to lose?

Not much as it turns out.  Yea! Great news.

It also turns out there isn’t much to gain either.  Boo! Not so great news.

Uncharted does indeed fit the bill in terms of action/adventure popcorn flick, all be it a rather predictable one.  Easily within the first twenty to thirty minutes I had the entire film complete with all it crosses, double crosses, twists and turns figured out to a T.  Honestly, nothing unusual for me so not totally unexpected.  My film viewing gift and curse.  Still, for any causal viewer let alone someone with knowledge of the source material, highly predictable.  Making the adventure more Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride than Indiana Jones.

The same can be said with pretty much all aspects of Uncharted.  It’s familiar and enjoyable, but not exactly thrilling.  The stunts are flashy to over-the-top, but nothing mind blowing.  Think Fast and Furious-esque,  lite.  Fun, but somehow “meh” at the same time in this kind of film.  

The pacing, even within the action sequences feels the same way. Both okay yet lacking and a bit off.  Something that’s even more apparent between action scenes. Clocking in just under 2 hours, Uncharted feels like you’re moving through various temporal anomalies, time speeds up and slows down randomly so you’re never really in a “groove” watching this one.

The biggest issue, however, is the cast. Specifically, the lack of chemistry between them. 

Tom Holland and Mark Wahlberg are wonderful actors, have enjoyed their films for years.  The chemistry between the two of them doesn’t fully click.  Again, I classify it as there, but lacking.  It’s not awful, but it’s not great either.  It’s just okay.  Truthfully, that sums up the entire casts' interaction.  It’s okay, but nothing special and few sparks.  Even Antonio Banderas can’t liven things up much.  Tati Gabrielle is a surprising bit of fun to watch, and I hope to see more of her in the future, but again there’s something missing. Everything just lays there,

I haven’t quite put my finger on what’s missing to jazz things up, but as we used to say when I was growing up, “It needs more oregano”!

As I left the theater, one of the crew asked me how I liked the film.  I tell you what I told him.  It’s okay.  Not great, but Lord knows I’ve seen worse.  There’s enough there to interest me in seeing where they go with the franchise, but I won’t be making it a priority.  

Uncharted is okay.  

A serviceable film, but it won’t be smashing any box office records or garnering many repeat trips to the theater.  If you opt to check it out on the big screen, I say catch a matinee or go on a discount day and save some money. Also, wait for the end credit scene before you bolt. 

Otherwise, just wait and stream this bad boy from the comfort of your own home. 

Uncharted gets a 5 from me.

Death on the Nile (2022)

I’ve been an Agatha Christie fan since 6th or 7th grade so I’m always excited (and nervous) when there’s a new version of one of her stories.  Death on the Nile (2022) is actor/director Kenneth Branagh’s sophomore outing into Christie’s world as he once again brings Hercule Poirot to the big screen. I admit to being apprehensive after 2017's Murder on the Orient Express fell woefully short of my expectations (too silly and poor utilization of the cast), but I couldn’t resist the opportunity to see this. Plus, I needed to get out of the house for a couple of hours for my own piece of mind.

DotN starts off with a nicely done deep dive into Poirot through a beautifully shot black and white prologue of him as a young man in 1914. A surprise that not only humanizes the Belgian super-sleuth, but sets the overall tone, themes, and mind set for the film. We also get a back story for the infamous moustache. Nice.

Flashing forward to “current” day, 1937, we catch up with the now wildly lauded Poirot at a London speakeasy and set the wheels in motion for the case ahead.  The setup, meeting of the players, etc. culminating in the whodunnit titular death. 

As for the film, DotN is certainly a step up on its predecessor.  While there’s definitely an element of humor things don’t fall into pure silliness.  The utilization of the cast plays out better too.  You’re given all the players and their score cards early on instead of the last minute. It still falls a bit short for some, however, the characters are better fleshed out and get to shine more this go around (Murder on the Orient Express you had half the cast or more you knew zip about until halfway through the film). Not too surprising given the likes of Annette Bening, Jennifer Saunders, and Sophie Okonedo to name a few. The costuming and cinematography are simply put, gorgeous and create a richness that make the story leap off the screen. 

While a solid film in more ways than not, what makes it good and not great is the pacing.  Death on the Nile (2022) clocks in with a two hour and 7-minute runtime that unfortunately feels much longer. 

After the opening prologue things lag and drag until I was feeling like this must be a Dune (2021) thing.  I became antsy and restless wondering if we actually going to get TO the Nile let alone actually have a death or two, or... Kind of hard to maintain a level of interest or excitement for a murder mystery (I don’t think it’s a I already know thing) if there’s no murder to be solved.  Fortunately, once the bodies started dropping the pace picks up, interest rebounds, and the real fun begins.  

I won’t be a bit surprised if Branagh opts to do a third installment of this franchise.  Fingers crossed if that’s the case, the third one proves to be the charm and knocks my socks off.  As for Death on the Nile (2022), if you want to get out of the house for a bit, you can do worse than seeing this one.  Otherwise, you may want to wait and watch it at home.

Death on the Nile (2022) it gets a 6 from me.